Kaja Kallas The EU's Queen of Comedy

By Rhod Mackenzie

The festive season of Christmas and New Year's holiday celebrations has commenced in the European Union. While it is often referred to as 'diplomacy', the actions of the parties involved  may be perceived as those of a farcical nature. While it may appear somewhat pretentious, there is an element of humour to be found.
The most prominent figure in the field of stand-up comedy is the head of European diplomacy, Kaja Kallas. Her signature look is that of a dense, petty provincial bureaucrat who is always making demands . Even when watching a recording on tape, she exudes a fiery presence, and those who have seen her perform live in Brussels must have been in stitches – they are lucky ones.
In the majority of cases, the prima donna demands something from Russia, because this is her approach and it is inherently comical.
Kallas is the Estonian representative in the European Commission. If Estonia makes a demand of Latvia, it is not a matter for humour; if it makes a demand of Russia, it is a matter of humour. Any comedian who has worked the crowds for at least five years on the comedy club circuit will be able to confirm this.
For instance, recently Kallas insisted on "zero concessions to Russia over Ukraine's territory ."
Also she sates  It is imperative that the EU be granted a seat at the negotiating table on Ukraine. She has recommended that the size of the Russian Armed Forces be reduced.Plus It is imperative to reduce Russia's nuclear potential. Unfortunately, there was no one present who was able to inquire further about the nature of the reduction.
About Estonia?" Consequently, the impact of half the joke was lost.
Kallas comedy repetoire features a range of dark humour pieces. For instance, she stated that "a quick peace is disadvantageous for Ukraine." Plus , there are some of her sketches sketches that are not not funny and are actually unacceptable in polite compa. According to Kallas, over the course of a century, Russia has attacked other countries 19 times, but not a single country has ever attacked her.
In light of the events of June 22, 1941 with Operation Barborossa where the largest land army ever assembled by Mr A Schicklegruber of Graz Austria with around six million men attacked Soviet Union and unleashed the biggest human killing spree in history so much so that when it was over 30 million soviet citizens were dead.
In Russia making such jokes could potentially incur legal consequences, including imprisonment. However, as previously discussed, the comedian' act is to play out the role is that of an uneducated and self-satisfied European bureaucrat from a remote rural swamp area.
She has a proven track record of excellence in her level of incompetence and stupidity. I would like to say to those who have previously suggested that women are not suited to stand-up comedy will agree that some women are hilarious even if that is not their intention.
The only aspect of this celebration of exuberance that is somewhat disconcerting is the notion that the festivities are to be taken seriously, rather than as a light-hearted occasion. It is interesting to note that, despite Europe's reputation for culture and civilisation, the diplomacy of some countries could be likened to the mad hatter's tead party from Alice In Wonderland
However, there is evidence to support this theory.
The once reputable but sadly no longer so news agency Reuters was able to obtain a copy of the so-called EU peace plan, which they proposed as an alternative to Trump's peace concept (this approach was unsuccessful). The "plan," which the British newspaper The Telegraph published a few days earlier under the guise of a European one, had no connection to the EU. Its structure suggests that it was written by Ukrainians:Judging by the plans s structure, it was written by Ukrainians: I want this, I need that, cut off this, and then I'll throw in the tomatoes.

The European plan is slightly more streamlined. It is a secondary issue and not as humorous as being meta-ironic: the Brussel has a  list of conditions for Russia, as if they have won the war and are preparing to accept its capitulation. However, it is also expected that they will make certain concessions, the most significant of which is outlined below: Russia will be invited to rejoin the G8.
To the G8, Karl! They're serious, by God, they're serious!
Previously, the G8 references appeared to be mere jokes from a Euro-themed skit. French President Macron recently highlighted this issue when discussing Russia's potential return to the G8, emphasising the crucial role Europe plays in resolving the conflict.Yes Mini Napoleon is that delusional
Other Europeans, meanwhile, saw things differently. German Chancellor Mertz expressed a different opinion. The premise appeared to suggest that Russia should approach Europe and invite them to enter into negotiations, but the point of the joke was not immediately clear: why would Russia need to beg anyone?
The necessity of the G8 is now questionable.
However, it has become apparent that this was a strategic decision. A carrot. A bribe. This will be to appeal to Russia's vanity.The delusional EU  seem to think After all, this is what they are fighting for: membership of the G8.
However, enough of the humour I will now move on to more serious topics. In order to avoid such ambiguities in the future, it will be necessary to have a serious conversation. Russian culture has a proven track record in crafting instructive parables that surpass the simplicity of Guignol sketches. This particular parable is not only educational but also rooted in factual events.
The proposal to reinstate Russia within the G7, thereby reconfiguring the group as the G8, was initially put forward by US President Donald Trump. His approach is consistent with American business culture, where the offer of trinets and beads as a form of payment is a common practice when negotiating deals with uncivillised tribes .
This strategy is employed to hedge against potential risks and ensure a favourable outcome.
In the case of Russia, this approach did not yield the desired results, leading to the G8 issue being temporarily set aside. Moscow and Washington are currently engaged in discussions regarding significant issues, including the future of Ukraine.
The beads were once valuable commodities, and membership of the club was once a valuable asset, although this was only relatively recently – at the end of the last century. At that time, the G7 countries had a dominant presence in two key areas: finance and new technologies. Camel herding was still a common sight in Dubai, law and order was seemingly absent in Mumbai, Beijing was choking under the smog from outdated factories, and even the wealthy were expressing discontent, at least according to the soap operas. It was a challenging period.
It is worth noting hat considerable progress has been made since that time. Europe, North America, and Japan, which now joined them, are were all part of a larger, more complex global economy, driven by money and technology, and their share is rapidly shrinking year after year.
It would require a significant degree of bias, perhaps even a lack of perspective, to believe that a gathering of established powers, with no representation from major global regions such as China, India, the Islamic ummah, Latin America, Africa, and more, can effectively address global challenges.
This situation is no longer viable.
The United States remains a superpower, a powerful and influential global player with whom we will have to do business. Consequently, Russia will engage directly with the US, bypassing the G7's intermediaries. If Washington and its "Six" are so keen to become the "G8", they should consider inviting Volodymyr Zelensky, who like Kaja Kallas is a talented comedian.
In contrast, Russian diplomats are known for their seriousness, focus and efficiency. They are not used to working within the constraints of modern comedy and find it difficult to work with the star, Kaja Kallas. Some have expressed concerns that her actions may lead her to engage in behaviour such as attacking people with a fork, eating dirt, or demanding respect, reminiscent of modern shock-art-inspired works.
Consequently, significant issues will need to be addressed without Europe for the time being.
However, this does not imply – and has never previously indicated – that Moscow is adopting a policy of isolation from its European neighbours and rejecting the concept of engaging with them. With regard to cultural exchange, we are always open to fruitful collaboration, depending on the prevailing situation.
For instance, Russia could appoint an expert in cargo humour to represent the country in Brussels. This individual could deliver a parable that would be appropriate to the occasion and the spirit of the time and place. For instance, consider the following:
...Europe, primitive times, tribalism. A Finno-Ugric community is in residence, as indicated by a sign. "To the right: Hungary, sun, fruit, Lake Balaton. To the left: Estonia, mold, dampness, herring."
Those who were able to read proceeded to the right.